What’s Important: Sexy M&Ms or Child Labor?

By David T. Valentin


M&M announced this Thursday their beloved characters are being updated to be more inclusive and representative of modern times. This includes a few small changes, including updating their outfits like their shoes, sleeves and pants while also updating their shapes and color palettes.


Of course, along with the change in attire, our favorite M&Ms will be getting a few changes in their personalities to have “an updated tone of voice that is more inclusive, welcoming, and unifying while remaining rooted in our signature jester wit and humor” says the company


Of course, the most noted changes by people were the green and brown M&M whose new looks were made to show off attire that wasn’t “stereotypically feminine.” Most notably, the green M&M now wears regular sneakers, long pants and long sleeves, while the brown M&M has been updated from tall stilettos to flatter heels.


Of course, while this is all for fun, some people have lost their minds over the changes to the brown and green M&M, mostly jokes except for a few. Many people on the internet have stirred some conversation about the candy, wanting to make them “sluttier” and “sexier.”






And while most people were taking the rebranding effort as a fun little joke on the internet, our friends over at Fox news were apparently losing their minds, specifically Tucker Carlson.



I was unaware they moved SNL skits into Carlson’s TV slot on Fox news, but I can tell you it might change Fox’s targeted demographics and might send those who want the green and brown M&M to have massive honkers with big sexy heels running away. I feel for you, Tucker. I really do.


But in all seriousness, while the internet is distracted by Mars. Inc.’s latest effort to rebrand their candies and the hilarity of Tucker Carlson wanting a fuckable M&M that you want to take out for a drink, Mars, Nestlé and Hershey are under fire for child slavery lawsuits in the U.S.


You can read the full interview at the Washington Post here, where they interview some of the young boys and their work in the cocoa farms.